(or a special telephone number that people can call
QUICK help with questions or problems... )

Christa Koenig

For two days now, Christa has been the proud owner of a Macintosh PowerBook 5300 CS. The former owner, employed at the Mac-shop in St. Gallen, Switzerland (bordering Lake Constance) promised it will work fine, but he could not give any guarantee.

After checking the first time, of course Christa had to get used to the new email program
Outlook Express. And after changing her Internet provider she had to inform all the friends about the new email-address.

So far so good, all the new server addresses were typed in, the email address and password chosen, so why shouldn't it work...

Hearing the modem dialing was like sitting in the arena of Verona listening to Verdi's Aida. Next step went also fine, Outlook opened, there it was...checking for new email... yes it was checking, till a message said, "invalid password." password is sick? disabled? can't be... another try..

This time closing the eyes...please dear Macky, dearest provider let it work. Carefully opening the left eye....nooooo, I could see it with one eye open... "invalid password"...There was only one check everything. This time, with both eyes open, I typed in the whole sermon again. Every letter, every word checking it must work. Better.. now it should work, which it didn't. ...

The new provider offers a hotline, saying: We can help you, whenever you need us!! Since I am an orderly person, I had written down the hotline before.

Dialing.. and there it was.. a very charming, soft female voice..


No, Chinese wasn't offered. I clicked on 1 and what did I hear? "We are sailing..we are sailing..." instrumental version, not Rod Steward... and after five seconds.."please hold the line, all lines are busy at the moment, but as soon as one is free, somebody will help you."

Again "are sailing... " I closed my eyes to enjoy the next five seconds, 'till I had to hold the line again.. No problem, I was sitting comfortably in my chair..

Still a bit of leftover from my afternoon-tea, holding the line or listening to "we are sailing." I must say, this provider-hotline is first class. After "WE ARE SAILING" and holding the line at least six times I was able to HEAL THE WORLD. Has Michael Jackson a special deal with the provider?. While healing the world and holding the line I was dusting the desk..not that there was any dust, but I was already a tiny bit nervous, calling them... yes.

Suddenly ring, ring, ring... and again a smart voice..this time male.."HELLO HERE."


Sure you may.. definitely you may.. after explaining my problem... silence... ae,,, ooooo I am so sorry, I am in charge for the telephone-information. May I pass you on to a colleague of mine? Holy...

Sure you may...his colleague was piano music,...but the same voice "please hold the line." I couldn't dust the desk anymore.. there was no dust at all .

Raindrop-prelude, yes I love Chopin but not now ...please.... yes please hold the line.

I feel already like a shareholder of that line..the owner of the line..this line I will never forget.... this line will follow me in my dreams...

Yes, it stopped raining and even it was only 9.55 am.... the little night music of Mozart accompanied me, while holding the line.

Shall I polish my nails now? No.. I give them two more minutes....


I would be more than pleased if you could... giggle, a deep breath giving me the feeling, feeling even more helpless...but with all my charm I explain him the problem. Yes, I understand. Thank you... we both speak German..

So there is no reason to not understand, but can you help me..??? Will you help me? "May I have your telephone number please?" Sure, giving him the phone number so he can check that we are customers... since this is a line, where they don't charge.

"....Ok.. Mrs. Koenig... yes you are a customer of us... now how can I help you....? explaining again the problem... invalid password... he tells me.. I don't believe it... this cant be... "sorry Mrs. Koenig... but I just had a frozen screen screen on my computer !!

"May I pass you on to one of my colleagues..?" .FORGET IT!!!!!

If I want to sail, heal or have rain in my office I don't have to stay 20 minutes on the phone.


Dear Christa, normally you are a brilliant girl,normally you are able to solve problems.. (ok.. I confess, not always with computers) .....why not give it another try. Opening Outlook, taking the modem out and putting in again, stroking the notebook, dear, dearest, my most beloved, please don't let me down.

Holding the breath and clicking on, going online at the same time...ring ring ring...ok...I am online.. smile... mail account for Christa Koenig...enter password...

My fingers touching the keys very softly.... like a raw egg... typing the password...sending a short pray to the big boss ... please let it work...touching very gently the enter key... closing my eyes again.. breathing.... this time right eye...I don't believe it.......

I am the
BEST, I am a real EXPERT, I am ready for the GUINESS book...the NOBEL works.. three new messages..but please don't ask me now why it works!!


Copyright ©1999 Christa Koenig
All Rights Reserved
Citation Permitted Only With Credit